When Did 4 Children Become Too Many?





When did having a big family become a bad thing?I always wanted a big family. I grew up with one brother, so naturally I always wondered what it would be like to have a sister or two, or three. And, being the older sibling, I always wondered what it would have been like to have an older sibling. That’s pretty normal kid behavior.

It’s natural to what what you don’t have. So, naturally I always wanted a lot of children when I grew up. I mean, I have been reported to have once said that I wanted seven children. Once I had one and reality struck me, I decided that maybe one was plenty. Of course, once the initial shock and the complete upheaval of my selfish little world leveled out  we decided to have another, then another. Now we have three little boys and still plan to have one more child.

Check out my sweet little boys…When did

What I want to know is, when did having 4 children, or even 3 children, become outrageous?

When Did Big Families Become a Bad Thing!

My baby is only 7 weeks old and I am already getting shocked and sometimes reproachful feedback when people learn I want more. Like, why would I want one more blessing from God? Why would I want one more chance to shape the world through another child? Why would anyone want four children?

And, honestly, no one has been rude about it, but it’s a little sad to see people’s reaction to it. Some people go from complete joy about a new mom to shock that said new mom would want more than two children. I have seen the shock on people’s faces on more than a few occasions, in baby Caleb’s very short existence. Someone will come up to me in Target with a huge smile asking “is this your first baby,” and I respond with an excited, “no, this is my third!” They reply with a “so you are done, then?” And I inform them that I intend to have one more. Shock! They actually have a brief moment when shock flits across their faces. They can’t believe I am so bold as to want another one. Suddenly, my sweet little motherhood seems a little excessive to them.

I know, I’m not super woman, there are a lot of women with more than 3 or 4 children. But, I can only imagine how they handle people’s reactions. So NOW, I hate to admit that I feel some small tinge of something -embarrassment, shame, shyness… I don’t know- but there is a qualm there when I tell people I have three children and want another one. That’s on me, though!




I can not let people’s perceptions, opinions or thoughts affect my family.

I am proud to be a mother of 3, and God willing, one day a mother of 4. I am proud to be surrounded my little people who depend on me to mold them into people who will make our world a better place. I take motherhood very seriously and I embrace the chance to raise wonderful humans.

I know, not everyone sees parenting a few or more children as a negative thing. There are quite a few large families in our world, but I want to encourage those of you that want a big family and are getting less respect than you deserve on that decision.

Children are a blessing! Parenting is a blessing! There is nothing wrong with having a house full of kiddos! Sure, you may get less sleep, have less room in the car, kid’s may have to share a bedroom, and you may end up with 4 or 5 people in your bed before the night is over with, but that’s okay!

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” ~Psalm 127:3-5

If you only want one or two (and I know, there are many valid reasons to keep your family size small) that’s okay too. The way I do it is not better than the way you do it. My desires are not more or less acceptable than yours. Every family and every parent is different.

But, if you do want to have a larger than average number of children, go for it! It is your family, and only you and your spouse can decided how many is too many. Children ARE a heritage from the Lord, they ARE a reward from Him! You are doing a wonderful, God-appointed thing.

Parenting is not easy and its not convenient. It hurts, its a sacrifice, it costs money and time and energy. But it is the biggest, best, most rewarding thing we can do with our short time here on earth, so I say “Go for it”!

What do you think?

Have you noticed any interesting responses to your family size? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

XOX, Gabrielle

P.s. If you liked this one, you will love these…

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XOXO, Gabrielle

6 comments

  1. Linda says:

    Gabby, you are a wonderful Mom.your children are a sure sign of your Mom ability. Those 3 little boys are so precious to all of us.And we will welcome with joy the 4th. or more…..I watched you grow up and now your children. It’s a wonderful thing to see….

  2. Helen Reynolds says:

    I know what you mean! I have 6 and people are always shocked! My kids are all grown now, my youngest is 18 and they are all magnificent people who I adore! They are the biggest blessings of my life. I don’t care what anyone thinks or says, large families are awesome. I always tell everyone it gets easier when you have more, there are more hands to help and you have more experience do you know what to worry about and what not to. You can see my family on my family lifestyle blog. 3winksdesign.com! Thanks for sharing and best of luck to you getting #4 or more!

  3. Patrick weseman says:

    As long as you have the support of people. I had two and stopped there. Living in the SF Bay Area with the crazy housing prices, being able to afford kids is an issue. Here a family of four and earning $121,000 a year is considered low income and qualifies you for things like Section 8 and other government services.

    To me, I can’t be critical of others and how many kids they have. That is a decision made by two people and I support whatever choices they make.

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